alright, so i'm scrolling down my facebook updates, and what do i see but a former english teacher improperly modifying gerunds. she's a former (or possibly still current, i don't know) english teacher! for those of you who don't know what an english teacher is, it's someone who professes to teach children, or adults in some cases, how to speak and write english. for those of you who don't know what modify means, i'll save you the time of referencing dictionary.com and tell you. it means to change or edit the character of something else, or to qualify something with a certain characteristic. example: look at the dog. look at the red dog. here "red" modifies dog. get the picture? we move on... a gerund (i know many of you don't remember what that is, or you wouldn't so liberally modify them incorrectly) is a noun converted from a verb, such as "looking", "seeing", "spending", "punching". say two men are at the bar, the wife (who we'll subsequently refer to as angelina) of man no. 1 (who we'll subsequently refer to as billy) walks in, and billy smiles at his wife. his wife smiles back, but then a strange expression comes over her face as she notices man no. 2 (bob). billy looks over at bob who's oggling angelina. billy punches bob in the face, and bob exclaims, "HEY! what the hell is going on?" to which billy screams, "YOU looking at my wife is the problem!" bob then replies "NO! your punching me in the face is the problem!" see the difference here? billy's "you looking" employs one noun "you" to modify another noun "looking," and we all know that only adjectives can modify nouns. just ask your local high school english teacher... oh wait, nevermind. i wouldn't be explaining this if it were that simple, so just take my word for it. at any rate. bob has used the proper grammar, with an adjective "your" to modify the noun "punching."
let's just have a little practice. here are some common situations where you may have improperly modified your nouns.
1) you doing your homework is integral. --> improper
your doing your homework is integral. --> correct
2) you and me drinking this whole bottle of crown is a must! --> improper
our drinking... --> correct
your and my drinking --> correct
3) all i'm thinking about is me hitting up this shorty tonight! --> improper
all i'm thinking about is MY hitting up this shorty... --> correct
so there you have it. just a brief review of grammar. go out there and spread this newly re-found knowledge, and let us make this world a better place.
